Woah! Where the fuck did this come from?
That was amazing! This series must have gone under my radar.
Everything about this was spot on. So many cartoons over egg the wacky voices to make up for the weak-as-shit jokes, so it's great to hear a more naturalistic delivery where the gags can breathe and the writing can sell itself.
Animation was delicious and the whole cartoon left me feeling inspired to pick up that dusty old tablet and get doodling!
I also love the fact that you have a main character that you don't have to lip-sync!
Ingenious and cheeky! Love it!
I really think that you're being WAY too hard on yourself here.
This was a genuinely well written and funny cartoon. Comedy is notoriously hard to nail down but you've manages to write likable characters and give them great lines and a relationship and manage to juggle some hard sci-fi into the mix as well! That is no small feat!
It's funny that you mention Rick and Morty in your comments because I got that vibe while watching.
The fact that you're just one guy writing this is incredible; I think that hating this cartoon because you don't feel it's up to R&M standards is really flagellating yourself to the point being unrealistic.
I'm always envious of good writers because whenever I've tried reading back my scripted comedy my balls wince with embarrassment. If I could write something half as good as this I think I'd have an aneurysm.
It's such a shame you felt like throwing in the towel on this one; even as a storyboard I was chuckling away and hoping for endless sequels!
My suggestion, for what it's worth (probably not much as I'm just some twat on the internet) would be to finish this off and re-submit it. It is such a shame to see so much potential unfulfilled.
1). Maybe lose *some* of the reverb on Brobot's voice, just to help the gags hit harder.
1). Great writing.
2). Genuinely funny and likable characters (Yes, even Milo!).
3). Lovely voice acting.
I've subscribed and looking to seeing more of your work in the future.
i do get very hard on myself, so this review actually encouraged me and i want to thank you for taking the time to write it. it wasn't ALL just me -- my friend dillon helped form the story for this ep and was pretty helpful with getting me out of plot holes/time-travel related headaches. but i did the rest, and went kinda crazy making it haha. being a perfectionist, like "this is it, this is my show, this is the pilot" etc etc
you're certainly right, though. a show like rick & morty has like 10 writers and i'm just one dude with a friend who helps out when i'm going insane. i'm not sure it'd be the same show if it was just justin roiland writing it (though i would like to see that haha). my big focus here was trying to improve my grasp on story structure/how to set-up a series, and while the jokes didn't totally connect (IMO), i feel like i did my best on it and that's why i threw it up here. i'm interested in pursuing brobot further, perhaps after more re-development, but not at this time. the character's definitely not done yet, though. when/if i do return to it, you can bet i'll fix that reverb effect, and i'll try and make it funnier.
and hey, if you want to write scripted comedy just do it! doesn't matter what the quality is, the fact is you made it and learned through the process. and you aren't just some twat on the internet, cause your comment got through to me and it was very kind. thanks for the review.
Hey dude, I wanted to see Cho Choca turn into the Kissy-Kiss Monster!
We all feel like giving up sometimes, don't get too depressed - you've just got to be HARDCORE!
Next time I'll give you the full 5 stars!
Keep animating buddy, you've got skill!
Hey, Thanks man :D And about those 5 stars, i'll hold you to that :D
I'm always a fan of your work and I feel a bit stupid for not having subscribed to you sooner XD
You're a great writer and that is something greatly absent from most submissions on NG/ YouTube etc...
Keep up the jolly good work and get yourself noticed!!!
Thanks for the support!
That 'noticed' thing may happen someday. But even if it doesn't, I'll still churn out material. I don't think I could stop if my life depended on it.
Now I'd like to see the situation that would come up where my life is threatened if I don't stop producing work. Oh, I got it: Making fun of a Muslim deity. That'd probably do it.
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