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Turbo-Assassin

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Shit Spiderman Trailer!

Posted by Turbo-Assassin - July 22nd, 2011


Oh cripes!

Just caught the new Spidey teaser trailer and I have to say that it looks like a load of old shit.

Two and a half minutes is pretty laborious for a teaser, and it's not as though it's packed with the good bits, either. At least I fucking hope not!

All the voice over twaddle about "My secret" and such wore me down, even before I realised that they are going to tread worn turf with yet another origin story.

Why fucking bother? Even the most casual cinema goer gets the whole "Radioactive spider bites boy>Boy gets powers" set-up. At least that recent Hulk film had the good sense to gloss over the origin story during the opening credits, even if it did end up being the best part of the film.

The big money shot in this trailer is supposed to be the P.O.V Spidey jumping over the rooftops, but I can't have imagined how shit it looked, can I? If it was a cut-scene from a PS2 game from 2005 I'd probably think it was pretty cool, but not now.

And I'm not too keen on the new actor they've got, either. I know Peter Parker is supposed to be a bit of a geek but this new guy looks more like a confused choir boy sporting his mum's haircut.

It's obviously too early to slam this film but these early signs aren't good. No Sir!
I know it's only a teaser but they've somehow managed to get everything wrong. How can you make a trailer for a Spidey film so morbidly boring?

Rule Number 1: If want to successfully reboot the Spider-Man franchise it's probably best not to aim your new film at teenage girls.

The Dark Knight Rises will effortlessly shit all over this, you mark my words!

I... I love you.

-Turbo xxx


Comments

the 3d from 1:42 looks so terrible too... You'd think at least they'd invest in that.

Too True!

I really want this thing to bomb but I think that the brain dead, inbred Transformers Crowd (TM) are going to guarantee this thing is a big success.

I thought "The Dark Knight" had set the bar.

It seems everyone is too cowardly to step up to the mantle!

I swa thsi movie 8 years ago, it was called "SPIDER-MAN"!!!

Respect, my gentle friend!

But the morbid thing is, is that this film will be a success, no matter how shit it is obviously going to be!

Why are there 3 Transformer films? Because everybody is a cunt-brained shit for brains fat cunt!

They close the libraries so that nobody is articulate enough to demand higher standards, and will accept the horse-shit poison that they are being fed.

It's a flipping conspiracy!

Yeah, that CG bit was bullcrap. Plus TBH I'd rather not have a POV shot if it means seeing the actual world remain live action; I could understand why they would need CG shots of spidey in the previous films when he's leaping about buildings, but by keeping the buildings/city in live action it meant that you could much easier suspend your disbelief and make it seem *ahem* Live Action!

There are a few nitpicky things too, like
A) Why the hell do we need to remake spiderman only about a decade later
B) Redheads > Blondes >_<
C) Why does the actor playing Peter look like an Edward Cullen wannabe?

BLUhh.

Good points!

I think the Edward Cullen similarity is deliberate as it has been suggested that this new Spidey franchise is designed to muscle in on the high school/romance void left by the end of the Twilight series.

OH boy! I can't wait!

Is it just me or did they just flavor Spiderman to fit the new "Everyone can be a hero" mentality of high school? I loved the Spiderman movies (1 and 2; 3 was...interesting) and they had an EXCELLENT cast along with some amazing 3D and plenty of fanboy fare. This one looks like its trying to play the underdog role by ditching AAA actors with all-but-nobodies.

True!

The only good actor in this shit-fest is Martin Sheen (as Uncle Ben).
Mind you, he made a prat of himself in Spawn, so even he has previous when it comes to crap movie choices.

ugg.. what a disappointment.

It's only gonna get worse, my feathered friend, it's only gonna get worse...

Your right it is to early to slam the film. I loved the old spidey movies high action done perfectly! (third was abit screwd) But this one is completely different.

Expect a story about Peter Parker who is ...also Spider-man. Not a story about Spider-man who is secretly Peter parker.

Andrew Garfield is an AMAZING actor. he'll do great if anything.

Honestly --I complained just as much as you did. Heck, WHY?! But they made it and you just have to look at the formula they have.

Mark Web (500 days of summer)

Andrew Garfield ( Social Network) Emma Stone (Zombie Land)

Stan Lee on the character writing as well as the writers from the other spider man and various other awesome movies.

For me there doing everything the trilogy didn't. In the comics Peter had alot of love interests. In this movie I see they have actors for some of his other love interests. and if you ever read the comic (SPOILER ::: Gwen Stacy's probly gonna die)
----

anyway ---I think this movie will be different yes. But in a good way! I can only hope so. Like I hope they just made that first person scene for the trailer. ...nd the movie doesn't actually look like that.

We'll have to see!

I hear ya, bro, but I just can't help feel that they could have learned some lessons from the patchy Spider-Man 3 and just continued with Raimi's vision.

The reason Raimi bowed out was because he didn't want to compromise his film making with Marvels' commitee of executives telling him what to do, like forcing a 10 minute Vemon cameo into an already overcrowded movie!

So what do the Marvel execs do? They hire a small time director who isn't going to blow his first big gig by asking too many questions. If they tell him to aim the film at the Twilight-brigade them poor old Mr. Webb has no choice.
Raimi could at least fight back a little.

I don't think these guys will have the balls to kill off Gwen Stacy. It's more likely that they will want to quickly establish her a Black Cat and give her a spin-off franchise (remember Elektra?).

Maybe I'm being a bit too harsh but I've seen this scenario play out one time too many! How many Hulk/ Punisher/Superman/Spider-Man re-boots do we really need?

But, as you say, we'll have to wait and see.

I just wish I could share your enthusiasm! XD

LOLOL sound track by Nickleback

"And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am"

I'm still waiting for a duet with Macy Gray. Then the universe really will fold in on itself.

:(

It kind of reminds me of how the third Metroid Prime game sort of lost track of what Metroid was all about and wasn't nearly as good as the first two, and then they made Metroid: Other M with new management and it just took that crap and propelled it even further toward something that couldn't even be recognized as a Metroid game. Similarly, the third Spiderman movie wasn't as good and now they're completely blowing everything to hell with the new director and the new cast and whatnot.

It looks like you corrected yourself in the comments but it's not an origins story; it's a reboot. And they're going for the Twilight crowd, not the Transformers crowd.

I've actually heard that Marvel has control over every movie except the Spiderman and X-Men films, which it doesn't. I've heard the reason they redid Hulk so soon was because Marvel wasn't in charge when the first one was made and they wanted to get it right or something.