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Turbo-Assassin

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Joined on 3/19/11

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Turbo-Assassin's News

Posted by Turbo-Assassin - October 1st, 2011


A few people have been asking me about the deckchair in my upcoming cartoon. I thought I would address a few issues before things got out of hand.

Yes, the deckchair in my new cartoon is very nice but I could have put slightly more effort into it. The reason I chose to keep it simple was because throughout the scenes where the deckchair is featured (Scene 2 and Scene 8) it is obscured by somebody sitting on it, therefore any extra detail would go unnoticed and I felt that this would be superfluous to needs.

Some will accuse me of being a "sell out" because I rushed a peripheral background detail, but I wanted to make clear that the promotional images released thus far (see below) are only meant as a teaser, and do not necessarily reflect the appearance of the deckchair in the finished cartoon.

It was even suggested on one message board that I had nothing but contempt for my fans as I was not willing to draw a better deckchair. Nothing could be further from the truth!

For these reasons I have actively avoided promoting my work on YouTube and Twitter to avoid "flame-wars" with rival cartoonists who are only too happy to pick apart the appearance of deckchairs in other people's cartoons.

Finally, I would like to go on the record as saying that just because one piece of background scenery was kept simple to facilitate the production of the overall cartoon does NOT mean that the rest of the cartoon has been as hastily slapped together.

I hope I have cleared things up and, more importantly, vindicated my good name.

Let this be an end to the whole controversy.

-Turbo.

P.S:
When is "MADNESS DAY"?

Deckchair Update!


Posted by Turbo-Assassin - July 22nd, 2011


Oh cripes!

Just caught the new Spidey teaser trailer and I have to say that it looks like a load of old shit.

Two and a half minutes is pretty laborious for a teaser, and it's not as though it's packed with the good bits, either. At least I fucking hope not!

All the voice over twaddle about "My secret" and such wore me down, even before I realised that they are going to tread worn turf with yet another origin story.

Why fucking bother? Even the most casual cinema goer gets the whole "Radioactive spider bites boy>Boy gets powers" set-up. At least that recent Hulk film had the good sense to gloss over the origin story during the opening credits, even if it did end up being the best part of the film.

The big money shot in this trailer is supposed to be the P.O.V Spidey jumping over the rooftops, but I can't have imagined how shit it looked, can I? If it was a cut-scene from a PS2 game from 2005 I'd probably think it was pretty cool, but not now.

And I'm not too keen on the new actor they've got, either. I know Peter Parker is supposed to be a bit of a geek but this new guy looks more like a confused choir boy sporting his mum's haircut.

It's obviously too early to slam this film but these early signs aren't good. No Sir!
I know it's only a teaser but they've somehow managed to get everything wrong. How can you make a trailer for a Spidey film so morbidly boring?

Rule Number 1: If want to successfully reboot the Spider-Man franchise it's probably best not to aim your new film at teenage girls.

The Dark Knight Rises will effortlessly shit all over this, you mark my words!

I... I love you.

-Turbo xxx


Posted by Turbo-Assassin - April 24th, 2011


Shalom, my little piglets!

Why doesn't someone start a Batman collab, right here on NG? The new film is out next year so we would have loads of time to make it HARDCORE! It would be a fitting tribute to a great trilogy.

I would do it myself but the forum rules stipulate that n00bs like me must achieve a "Batting Average" - whatever the fuck that is.

Apparently, there was a Dark Knight Collab, but it was abandoned when the organiser got a part in the school play. I kid you not!
That is not the HARDCORE caliber of artist who should be paying tribute to THE BATMAN!

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject and very wise they are, too.

I... I love you.

-Turbo xxx

PS: I will be releasing more crap sometime this week. A cartoon so repugnant that you will gouge your own eyes out with a teaspoon and flick them out of the nearest window in a bid from ever having to witness such terror ever again.

Below is a piece of shit artwork which appears for about 2 seconds in the cartoon.

Nice!

Why Doesn't Someone Start a BATMAN Collab?


Posted by Turbo-Assassin - March 19th, 2011


My cartoon is nice.

EDIT: Does anyone know how to upload an animated gif. in the User Image thingy? I saw someone else do it and now I am jealous :(

EDIT: Okay, I can upload it onto the page (see below!) but not in the other thing. Fair enough, that's good enough for me!

EDIT: What are you supposed to use these "posts" for? Am I going to get into trouble?

EDIT: Actually, I'll re-upload the Fonz picture. He adds a touch of class in an otherwise bleak world.

EDIT: Thanks for the feedback on my cartoon! Unsurprisingly very few liked it but an inevitable sequel will be uploaded in possibly 2 weeks time. Thanks for all the reviews and favourites! :D

EDIT: Okay, I've started the sequel and it's going pretty well. The cartoon will star Sebastian Moseley (again!) and I will increase the blood and guts ratio. If there is anything that you DON'T like in your Flash cartoons please let me know and I will include as much contentious material as possible!

EDIT: I received a review saying, "... I sincerly don't like this kind of stuff (might be because I got a cousin that walks like him and have mental problems)... ".

I thought I'd best cover my arse and point out that the character (Sebastian Moseley) isn't supposed to represent anybody with "mental problems", he is just supposed to be a cartoon character.

Also, the walk cycle was an exercise in "breaking joints" and "rubber-hosing", which I have been reading about.

I have no problem upsetting the general audience but one thing I don't do is pick on vulnerable targets.

I'm too fucking hardcore!

EDIT: Somehow "FUK YOO, BANARNEE!" managed to make the Front-Page! Thanks to everyone for the support/ reviews/ favourites and votes! You are lovely, lovely people and you will always have a place in my little black heart!

4 people have added me to there "Favourite Artist" list so the the pressure is on. I'm going to increase my (limited) skills for the sequel and produce something truly horrific!

PEACE!

- Turbo xxx

My cartoon is nice...